"$elfMade"

I committed to the streets when I was 10, I said my last prayer to God sheltered up, in a porta potty, from the rain and the wind,

That's when my anger and rage, settled in, and I found myself screaming "fuck'em all," at the top of my lungs, with my clothing soaked to my skin,

And my heart growing more colder everyday to not even reflect upon my sins,
Or to push back every underlining compromise to repent,
Or to let another keep what they have, that would better my life, or to get me closer to how I would like to live,

I sat in the darkness, that day with my heart and soul in a tailspin, with my tears, flowing like a wave crashing against my cheeks and chin, like the rocks on land, at shore's end,

I knew that day….
That moment….
Or that min….
I was taking my last breath as a kid,and every meal I would eat from now on, would be because of my own hands,

There would be no one I could ever depend on,
No family,
No friend,
It was all on me, until God took me in, and I swore on him, I wouldn't fold, break or bend, and I would do whatever it took to contend,

Fuck another's life,and fuck it, if I had to died trying to live, or win, thats when my monster started to ascend, and I began to lose my adolescence, and I assembled an unkind man,
That refused to be rejected again,by his parents,or his kin,

I knew I was lost to the streets then, as I sat in that toilet bin, with my grip tightening around that F/N with that clip extend, taking them deep breaths in,

The road to my end, had begin, as I dung in to them trenches and fast pay money trends, from the front porch to the backend, bangin, robbin, trappin, to bleeding them streets as a triggerman,

No prayer could rescind, the humiliation,or horrific life I was forced to live, eating out the trash to clench the hunger, again and again, sleeping wherever the cold couldn't seep in, and keeping one eye open for male figures like my father Stan, a fuckin chameleon, just like a pedophile Bible thumbing uncollared clergyman,

I refused to be his twin, preying on the innocent, playing with kids, fuck that shit, that ain't no man, I had to run up out that devil's den, and become selfmade, and my own blend…..

© By,Stan Steel63rd