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Things that I couldn't understand.
My father sexual abused me when I was a child, things that I couldn't understand and then accused me later down the road why he molested me! It felt like I got shot by a arrow, right through my heart ever since. I been trying to heal from that and then I started getting new pain from different people. I had other family members who molested me as well, on both of my father's and mother's side of the family. They are mostly dead that I know of, except the one that I know is still alive on my mother's side! I guess they thought it was ok, because my father got away with it and so did they. I was 3-7 when I stopped getting molested from you guys. Then one horrible painful night and I was only 10. I got raped by a family friend and I still remember his name! And yes I blame myself that night! Only if I did what he wanted, then he probably wouldn't of raped me. Or like my father told me, he would of done it anyways. Later down the road. I started looking for love, but I always ended up with a wrong guy. Guys that didn't want me, only want what I had to only please them and my heart always gets broken when I find out the truth why they was with me in the first place and it wasn't for love. Some guys treated me badly and not even sure why.
© Charlotte B.