I was gonna end it
Cuz of you
Cuz of this brutal loss
And your brutal ways.
How easily you
Ripped my heart out
With your bare hands
And then squatted down
Holding my heart
In those same bloody hands
Between your legs and
Just shit all over it
Like you never once
Ever felt it beat
The way it beat in rhythm
To yours.

Thankfully I know how to put a needle in my arm
Rather than a gun
In my mouth.
Thankfully I tried to just
Ruin my life
Instead of just ending it.
Drugs saved my life this time.
I've done so much dope
Trying to make myself
Forget that face
That i can't quite pin it Down…
How long we been apart
This time?

Fuck that…
The question is
How could she…?
How could she
Just come roaring back
Into my life like…
Like I'm supposed to be cool.
No worries.
Like my cycle of loneliness
Which was created from her
Is of no consequence?
Like we don't got nothing
But sweet dreams and
Easy roads ahead of us.
But I did it too
Didn't I?
I put my life back down and
Ran right back to her
The moment that fone rang
And she told me
To come home.

Its my bad this time,
I blindly followed my emotions
Back into this painful outcome.
And my heart regrets it,
All the while knowing
My heart wants her back.
My mind knows better,
My heart would take me
Right back to her.
My bad…

END


© N. Heddings