Whenever I say I love you
I feel bad about it.
Not because I don't.
I don't think I accepted myself
yet.
I haven't figured everything
so far but trust me,I'm trying.
I just don't know why I feel the way I do.
I can't tell why I love who I love.
I don't want to feel this.
I want to be "normal".
But at the same time I hate these thoughts.
I just want to love without these
but I know I can't.
I don't know why I feel bad saying
I love you.
I don't think I'll ever understand this.
It kinda hurts to say I love you.
And I don't want it to but if it does I can't do anything with it.
Maybe I'm just tired and it could also be the weather I guess so...

...I guess I'll keep telling myself this until I believe it...

© Tortise