Unnoticed
Everything I seem to do- goes unnoticed
All the efforts i put into trying to better myself goes unnoticed
All the effort i put into trying not to cry when i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror goes..
It just goes.
When its undermined
When its overlooked
When its forgotten
I forget
What is the point in all of this?
Why do i try to get better?
A part of me likes hows it feels to be sad
To be angry
To hate all that I am
Because when I’m happy-
It feels like i deserve none of it
I know what I deserve-
And that is tears
Tears after tears
There is something comforting about being the only one in the house awake
With seemingly the deepest, most complex thoughts
There is something almost homely about reflecting on oneself and the actions of the day
Week
Year
There is something about thinking so much that you end up thinking yourself into a black hole
One that sucks everything good out of life.
I miss it sometimes
Well
Do i?
Or is this the feeling of me feeling/anticipating that something bad is going to happen
That bad being whatever is to come tomorrow
Because the day after always seems to be worse than the one before.
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© Nesi_VP