with the external and with the internal. externally you can have a person come up to you everyday and say the same thing. internally you can have a voice come to you everyday and say the same thing. note, that the only difference is that in one scenario you are the only one that can hear so that makes people around confused and it draws attention away from the conflict. whereas externally it's not hard for people to comprehend someone coming up to you everyday and saying that and that is where the focus point stays it doesn't go anywhere else but there. my point here is that whether the voice is internal or external how does that define what you choose to listen to and obey. to be willing to listen to the external person that comes up to you each and every.. or to be willing to listen to the internal voice that speaks to you each and every day. saying cold sentences of hatred towards towards someone that you're supposed to be soft and tender towards. Tell Me a reason of why you would be most willing to do as they say despite how insidious it made our life. it was pure hell nothing more nothing less. my comfort my safety had changed into someone who presumed I was possessed or presumed that I was a mass murderer all these bizarre thoughts. we're not valid to do on to me as they had told you to do on to me. day by day I grew weaker mentally and both physically I spent hours begging others for the answers before before I just either collapsed or just giving up and I really did not want to give up. but I couldn't help but feel that you kept doing these things to push me and I'll let you know it did push me it pushed me so far so far away that now I can't even tell if the words that you say to me are even as real as I used to think that they were and this Burns inside it truly does you were all that I had despite what you thought because the truth is you never made me feel empty you made me have life within me now there is not a single soul that can do this not even myself and for this I have lost a big part of me a big part that is the component that keeps me going and keeps me waking up going to bed waking up going to bed but this I do not have I feel empty but I can still think and my thoughts are all in the right places and that is why I can still make it because I remember how it feels to feel so I fake it till I make it and I just go with the flow I have no other choice but each day I still search and search and search for the answers of why so that one day I might have peace some days I wake up very angry very sad I feel like everything is out of my control. I'd hate to think that that be so. because if that is true that I speak then it's a lie that I need because what made everyone else so worthy of dictating my path why aren't I worthy because people they target me and I would have thought you'd be the last person who would ever Target me but I'm sorry it's the voices it's not you it's the voices it's not you it's the voices it's not you
© hailtheesavage