You act
one way.
All kind
and calm.
Then hours
later…
You simply loose,
all of
your charm.

You expect,
apologies
from me.
When you’re
the one.
Making
the scenes.

As you insult
the people,
that i know.
Such
disrespect.
But you,
do not care.
Because
tomorrow,
you’ll be
flying home.

As i tell you,
in a calming tone.
“I’m okay,
standing alone.”

I’m waiting
on a lift,
right now.
“So please
don’t talk
at me,
so loud.”

No, thank you.
I don’t want
to come,
to continue
with your,
partying on!

So please
stop screaming,
in my face.
With this
behaviour,
that you
display.
As it’s not
the time,
nor the place.

Please
understand,
i need to go.
So i’ll,
catch up
with you,
again
tomorrow.

“I’m simply
going home
right now.
As i’m
feeling tired
and need
a nap.”

Except.
Bossy you,
wasn’t
listening…

As you still
insisted,
ringing up
the paramedic
team.
Even though,
i said…
“forget it”.
In your
mind,
you couldn’t
accept it.

So as i
calmly tried,
to explain
to you.
What exactly,
i was going
through.
“There just
some symptoms,
flaring up”.
But, your
stubborn side.
Would not
give up.

I could feel,
a big wave
of anxiety.
Like a
heavy cloud,
hanging
over me.

In truth.
I was calm,
before you
came.
But now,
i’m getting
a huge
head pain!

My anxiety
levels,
have truly
risen.
Due
to those
unbelievable
rants,
you’ve given.

So in the
car park,
you continued on.
Hysterically
shouting and
screaming on.

You were like,
a massive
firework.
Getting
ready,
to take off.
While displaying
all it’s colours.
Until the bang
suddenly,
went pop.

Admittedly,
your behaviour
changed.
Acting out,
such crazy
games.

I asked
my friend,
to “simply
drive”.
When
i saw…
The devil,
in your eyes.

I could feel
my heart,
slowly deflate.
So sad inside.
As my tears,
took shape.

And still.
You persisted with,
such bizarre- like
threats.
As you
stood in front,
blocking the way.

Just weirdly,
shouting
over again.
The whole
of my friend’s,
car reg plate.

Eventually.
You let
us leave.
Although,
those minutes
there.
Felt like,
hours to me.

After all your
intense talk.
You’ve truly lost
this zen- like
walk.

As your
lotus flower,
has found
a way.
To kill
itself.
Within a day.

Then once,
my friend
and i,
get home.
I had,
to calm
her down.
You know.
As your
behaviour,
scared her so.

I had to
stop her.
From calling
the police.
As i described
your extremely
biazzare,
personality.

You escaped
a criminal
charge,
that day.
Un be known
to you
i saved you,
again!

Then
later on,
that very
night…
You stormed
straight in.
With no
invite.

As i
just wanted
you,
to leave
my house.
As we can
love someone.
Yet still
very much,
dislike them,
somehow.

Although.
You expected,
a friendly
welcoming.
A song,
a dance,
or maybe
a cheer!

Like a bull,
facing
the colour red.
You still
hadn’t finished,
shouting,
at me yet.

I could
not believe,
my eyes and ears.
When you
screamed
at me again,
with tears.

Bizarrely,
you were
unaware.
Of just,
how wrong,
you’d been
that day.

Although.
I was, the one
to apologied.
So profusely,
just to.
Defuse
your cries.

In the hope
that you,
would soon
be gone.
Away,
from here.
As i had
done,
nothing wrong.

So much
upset caused,
in one day.
Yet, in your head,
i was too blame!

So,
in order
just
to get,
some
peace.
I took,
the blame,
that you
couldn’t face.
Just,
to heal
some emotions,
in the place.

When you
finally chose,
to leave
my house.
I could feel,
the anxiety
lift somehow.

Leaving me,
with calm again.
Then some
thoughts,
about that day
rushed in.

When,
reflecting on
that day’s events.
I couldn’t
believe,
all the
fucking
nonsense!

As behaviour is,
a funny thing.
As we learn
to fight
or flight,
without
any real
reasoning.

(13/05/23)














































© Josephine Daniels.