My life fans and spreads outward
your absence creating an old woman of me
what was once contained tightly
becomes loose and amorphous
careless and gelatinous
leaking into other channels
to embarrass those around me
with the evidence of my decline
I burned your letter in the fireplace
so I could inhale you into my lungs
rich, acrid, stinging pain
that brought tears to my eyes
a ritual I create daily
just pause at random moments
to suck you in deeply
so I can feel the betrayal
in short, manageable bursts
this is a defining moment
a life-altering hurt that I keep secret
so on the outside, I harden more
with each day I press through
while internally I'm dissolving
always wondering when my contents
will break through this brittle shell
and leave me and my heartache exposed
even with all the world gazing at me
and the curious disaster I've become
you will still be the one person
who fails to see what you've done

© Averil Sperry