Which side do I go on
The left or right?
Which way is up or down
I can't tell the difference

What do those letters and numbers even mean
Am I heading to Queens or the Ferry?
I don't want to get lost
I'm on a time limit to reach my destination

Folks please move down will ya!
I need space to breathe
There's literally an open spot right in the middle
I can't believe some people are so lazy!

I'm fed up to the point of breaking
Every seat is taken by someone who is on a phone
You're not disabled! you're not old! You're especially not tired!
Give up the seat to someone who is more deserving, Jesus Christ!

The torture doesn't end! I can't reach the door in time and it shuts me in!
I now have to get off on the next station cause someone couldn't be bothered to move over!
PEOPLE THE PHONE ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE! IT'S IN YOUR HAND!
But I digress.

Finally made it to my...