It’s never a Merry Christmas,
This time of year brings me down.
You laugh at all the parties,
While I wear a perpetual frown.
My anxiety is off the charts,
No, I don’t want a hug.
Scrooge was fucking right,
Hey Christmas, “Bah, Humbug”!

Oh, send me 3 ghosts,
On this Christmas Eve.
I don’t want to be a dick,
I truly want to believe!
Oh, send me 3 ghosts,
In the middle of this night.
I’m so tired of the dark,
And I could really use some light.

The Season is upon us,
Thank God it won’t last.
Jacob Marley please send me,
The Ghost of Christmas Past.
I once loved her so,
And she hurt me so much.
How I’ve missed her smile,
And oh, I’ve longed for her touch.

Oh, send me 3 ghosts,
Like any of this will matter.
But this Christmas Eve,
I don’t want my friends to scatter.
Oh, send me 3 ghosts,
That old holiday trope.
I fear that I need their...