Can you see me?
Could you hear me!
If I lefted up my voice, and told you my choose?
Would it matter?
No one never asked if I really, truly wanted to be here at this moment?
No one, Not a soul even around me care's if I wanted to even help!
I didn't hear them breath a word to me. They didn't care if I felt like it. I didn't get a choose. While as they do. How I wounder what it is like to say( No) and I wouldn't feel pain for standing up for my self.I wounder what it's like to hear my own Voice tell someone ( Why )I didn't do as they told me . My own blood I don't think I could remember the sound of there own voices. How They smile Seconds have turned into minutes, minutes have turned into hours the hour's into days months 2 and half years now. They wanted me to be, do as they thought was good for me. How yes indeed I could of done the same. How my baby sister looks so cute and silly when she is wrong or even tries to act so much bigger than she is. My brother how indeed with all his might tries to act mad ,yell, even tries to make me feel so little bless his soul he tells me that I don't make it easy for him to be mad at me that he loves me. I talked to him One other day. My other sister takes my aunt's, uncle's, and other sister side. It's been 7 months that I lasted Saw her that we huged. My momma we talk it's been many months that I even gave her a kiss or a hug. She is the only one that tells me I am beautiful,amazing, That she is so proud of me for me to always be truthful and honest to My self. It's not easy.How indeed this world will never understand or know how I just want to run away give up. I can't, I know my family, friends, ever so many others may never get it. If I would I've be turning my back on my 2 boys other children the ones that think they are weak I pray one day they will see they to are very strong. I gave my word to My grandma so many years ago. If I knew maybe I would of never. If I choose to walk away, give up, I will be giving up on, My God, My Lord, My Saver Jesus Christ. It's not easy at times not to have a voice, a say about my life. I know I am not doing this for my self, Not for anyone on this earth.I just want him My God to be proud of me so I will keep standing for him and his ways.I know he is real, That Yes indeed he Loves me and you as well, That he just wants us to trust him, believe that he will take care of everything just have faith. I everyday I hope he hears my prayers for all for giveness not only my self even for the ones that do as they may, How yes indeed the devil's way seems easier thank you my Lord Jesus Christ for letting me have eyes as he. no lie I don't understand everything, I mess up just like you. It took me giving it all to him trusting believing that if I kapt my Father's ways hide in my heart where not even the angles or the devil could find them that no one could take the most powerful beautiful amazing gift the greatest blessing his love his spirit from me. I know if I do as men would want me to do I would be turning my back on the only one that has never forsaken me haven't lied, has shown me in so many ways how much just as you or any one else we are his children his sheep his people that his love he will never take it away. it's not easy yes there is pain, he told us it would not be easy. I'm here today telling you the only reason I am alive able to share his love is because I trusted, believe that he has already won, gave everything my spirit to him. it's hard not to fear what could happen. But he has shown me that if I call out trust don't look any where else just keep my eyes on him what can they do. These past 3 years death had knocked on my door I didn't answer it because of how amazing he his love for me is. This Someone live after standing up speaking out showing them that when I use my voice trust him that it's not up to them it's up to him. He has something planned I know it won't be too much longer I will get out I will

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