i promise, this is the last time I'll ever write about him.
Occasionally through the grapevine of a one-stop light town

His name wisps in the wind

I can hear it faintly drifting like the snow falling on my front steps tonight


Humming in my ear

His name no longer leaves that burning ache
Deep inside my chest
When it reverborates

And for that, a smile stretches against my pales cheeks

Seven letters; two syllables
A name that now feels foreign to me

For a moment I stop to listen

It's no business of mine
What these snowflakes whisper to me

But I'm grateful to at least hear he is happy
Content in the direction his life is heading

Never back

As for me

For awhile, I questioned the validity of my self-worth
Wondering what was so goddamn wrong with me
That he'd wish to erase me from existence

Like I'd never existed

But lately I've noticed that I don't freeze
When his path crosses with mine

When beautifully green
But perpetually menacing eyes

Find me on a crowded street
And he turns from me

We don't speak

I am a stranger

And finally free

I don't dream of those eyes
Burning holes in my soul

And I haven't for so long I almost forget
The feel of cold metal and hot sweat


But still I hope
When my name drifts through the grapevine
And the snowflakes tickle his ear

That my name doesn't bring that boiling anger to the surface
The kind he only reserved for me

That he is capable of feeling
For my happiness, too

Never back

© krystlereisler