I don't want to have to keep on 'coping' with the pain of what happened to me, okay?
I don't understand it, never have and probably never will,
and it's left me me messed up in so many ways that I don't even know how to begin to think about healing.
I wanted to be loved not abused,
I wanted to no longer be lonely not used,
I guess maybe I don't deserve a nice relationship,
maybe all I'm good for,
is men using me until I'm done for.
you caressed me till you convinced me that a touch would be nice,
you sexted me from the first spring of day till the last song of night,
when I tried to get rid of you, you cursed me made me feel less than human
well congratulations,
you all win,
I feel like a pathetic loser,
who can't escape from their abuser,
I genuinely believe that it was all my fault.
I was an idiot for talking to you,
An asshole for 'falling for you',
and a cunt for submitting to you.
and I know the law says I was to young to comprehend my actions...
the law's stupid,
I should have been smart enough to know,
that the only buisness any adult male would want with a teenage girl,
whether it be online interaction or personal encounter,
is sex, and that's that


#writing #depression #depressed #pain #suicide #sexualassultsurvivor