My biggest wish is to find happiness before taking my last breath, that maybe the only time that I really become truly and fully happy. Forgot about it and forgive them they say, but the damage done stays with me day in and day out.

They forget that external scars heal faster than internal scars. My life is not what I want it to be. I never imagined that I'd be this kind of person at this age. Why can't I be free. That's the question that always bugs me. Keeps me awake you know.

I hide behind my humor because even my fake smile couldn't keep up with my brokenness. Now I hope my humor will carry me till I truly become happy. I make them smile to feel better, I...