My biggest wish is to find happiness before taking my last breath, that maybe the only time that I really become truly and fully happy. Forgot about it and forgive them they say, but the damage done stays with me day in and day out.

They forget that external scars heal faster than internal scars. My life is not what I want it to be. I never imagined that I'd be this kind of person at this age. Why can't I be free. That's the question that always bugs me. Keeps me awake you know.

I hide behind my humor because even my fake smile couldn't keep up with my brokenness. Now I hope my humor will carry me till I truly become happy. I make them smile to feel better, I make them feel better so that I can smile. But at the end of the day I'm left alone, sad, depressed and dead. Because they left, THEY LEFT.

I was a burden to them after they found themselves. After all I guess that is my purpose. To build people and allow them to walk all over me because after all, I'm not human. I died a long time ago. So why should it matter what they do with me after they've found what they wanted.

I am a sad teen and all that I want is to find happiness before I die. I want to say "I'm happy" and really mean it, I want to have a genuine smile, I want to live my life the way that I am supposed to. But it is hard.

I appreciate everyone who is trying by all means to make me feel better about myself but I also feel like they don't understand. They are really trying to help, and that's what I really appreciate.

I am a sad teen and all that I seek is peace. I want to feel alive, I want to trust, I want to be free and I want to live

DEAR UNIVERSE

This is my last request
© Kabetswe