A solitary road, walking on the detritus of our memories
You know what I go through every day Ainun?
I'm thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life
The clock chimed and everything felt devoid
Smoldering memories conflagrate my nerve center—
This cryptic despondency really grinds me inexorable
Thus love I have, of probity and zest
Or can I emphasize that this is a hotchpotch between love and gusto?

You're the only woman I have loved all my life and the rest of my life
You're a sincere woman who accompanied me in my difficult times
You are the only woman who is able to equivalence the big vision and mission of my life
While my vision and mission for the nation and the place where I was born is not a prevalent dream
Now I recall all the words you said to me
Darling can I be with you in perpetuity?

Dear God, I don't have many wishes
I just want to be with her everlasting with your permit and blessing
There's nothing here for me on this vacant road
There's nothing here while the city sleeps
And the world is so crepuscular and cadaverous
And I admit I fastened by the past, the past with her
A great woman that I have ever met and accompanied my life in bittersweet
I'm like a bird whose petals wings have broken
After she's not here by my side, I realized that this is fate from God

All humans will definitely be separated in time
But this really ruined my life so badly
My task in building our beloved country is incomplete without you darling, as the peg of my big dream
Everything happens without prognosis and surmise
And remember Ainun when I was late for work and you made me coffee
At that moment, I was awaited by several officials from abroad, several envoys from America. There are envoys from several countries and I asked the car to turn around just because I wanted to drink the coffee you brewed for me. Oh Ainun, how much I respect you and love you

Everything about you and about us, I'm sure, will become a chronicle
We've been chasing your ghost down an empty road
Watching your silhouette turning into dust
The skyline reminds me of a different time, different dimensions
But I can still feel your energy when I hold your picture in my palm

This is the time when I feel my world has stopped and everything is blurry May 22, 2010
This hit me so hard and felt my pulse stop beating
Fate so cruelly snatched you from my life after we knit and weave the story of our journey
Here in this place I lost my love forever at 𝙻𝚞𝚍𝚠𝚒𝚐-𝙼𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚜-𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚝ä𝚝, 𝙺𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚞𝚖 𝙶𝚛𝚘ß𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗, 𝙼ü𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚗, 𝙶𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢
You don't go away for a while because you go to your new house
A home that will give you peace forever because you won't be in pain anymore
Darling, I will visit your new home and rest in peace
I will never forget and replace you until the end of my life
You are the only woman who has filled the space of my heart
I will send my holy prayer to you and I'll write a story about you in my book
Just to remin perpetuate you Ainun & about the bittersweet of our journey and struggle with our life

And my wish is that if death comes to me later I just want to be buried beside you
I want to live and die with you and by your side

©Uni Nindiani