Some people say that they’ll go wherever the wind will blow.
What if that’s in a direction you just don’t know?
Do you really want to go?

What if what you see is like a horror show?
What if they hurt you so much they make you feel lower than low?
Will you really just continue to go with the flow?

Maybe you should’ve left long ago!
You have to give yourself some time to grow!
Sometimes it’s much harder than people think to get your ducks in a row!

I’m not special at all just an average Joe!
I’m ok with that just fine though!
Tired of all these feelings of woe!

I don’t understand why some people just hate me for no reason even if I don’t know them like I’m their foe!
A fight I’d much rather forego!
Don’t want to go toe to toe!

Not always best to fight!
Fighting isn’t always right!
Sometimes though it’s fight or flight!

Some people enjoy it with delight!
They’ll give everything with all of their might!
Maybe you have to realize or at least believe everything will be alright!

What if some of us already struggle enough just to sleep at night?
Every internal struggle we keep inside nice and tight!
We all need something to make our days and nights a little more bright!

Take a look at yourself in the mirror!
Are things anymore clearer?
Or do you feel your life ending getting nearer?

You have nothing left to live for?
You just can’t win your internal war?
Believing things can’t be like they were before!

For you there’s nothing more?
Stuck behind life’s locked door!
Are they going to find you dead on the floor?

Nobody saw how much you were hurting or they chose instead to ignore!
Just couldn’t keep fighting it anymore!
Your body laying lifeless they beg you to wake up and to God they implore!

Everything inside your head mentally, physically, and psychologically in you it wore!
You hid your struggles down to your core!
No breath or heartbeat left in you for them to restore!

Are your friends and family completely lost without you?
Did your friends even know the real you?
Only the closest ones knew!

Not many had any idea how you felt like your mind was always being split in two!
Mostly nobody had even the slightest clue!
Nobody knew how ready you really were for your life to be through!

No idea just how much you always felt so blue!
Inside you felt not good enough all the time it’s true!
Had nobody to keep you held together like glue!

In your head thoughts running around like crazy animals in a zoo!
Your thoughts you couldn’t construe!
Negative thoughts always kicking your brain like an angry kangaroo!

Happines you just couldn’t accrue!
Always feeling like the word happy for you was nothing but forbidden taboo!
Any chances at being the least bit happy mentally you blew!

You already hated yourself enough!
You just were not mentally ready to be tough!
If people could’ve read your mind it would’ve been some heartbreaking stuff!

Tried being yourself but at every turn you they’d only rebuff!
Inside every thought you had was rough!
Your light the devil was able to snuff!

Maybe you were never meant to be alive!
This life in it you just had no chance to thrive!
For 15 minutes you they continued to try and revive!
They brought you back this suicide attempt you were able to survive!

You wish they would’ve let you die!
Nobody understood your reason why!
Told them they didn’t see how many nights you would lay there and just cry!

They thought you always seemed so happy and exuberant and you tell them it was all a lie!
They say you’ve always been such a great person and great guy!
Why didn’t they ever tell you that before you almost ended it all without saying goodbye?

Your life you almost ended your end was almost nigh!
They chose for you your wishes they chose to defy!
Your plan went awry!

You tell them they never cared about you enough to check on you a truth they admitted they couldn’t deny!
Told them on you they’ll no longer rely!

They just can’t understand your mindset or even talk to you looking you right in the eye!
Your love of life has run dry!
All they do is just stand there looking at you with a sigh!

Told them you felt like there was no other way!
Told them you hated yourself each and every single day!
Told them it felt like the best thing was to forever go away!

Laying in that hospital bed you tell them that you’re sorry you were ever born!
Letting them know soon your death they’ll mourn!
On their faces a look so forlorn!

You had survived but it was far too late!
Told them you felt this was always meant to be your ultimate fate!
The beep’s now slowing down at a slow rate!
You tell them you see the angels waiting all beautiful and ornate!

The angels dressed in white with their heavenly glow!
Every beep getting so slow!
Your voice is so low!

You tell it’s time and you’re ready to go!
You tell you love them always though!
You tell them that was something you had to let them know!

© BDawg90