بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

your fingertips blush like the warm flush of sunset
one hand rests on the gear shift
you keep your nails long, but they’re clean and neat

rosehip tea for me, chamomile for you
i soaked up the fever, under your blanket, while you painted accross the room
your words were soothing, caring, loving, meaningful

safe, when you touched my face, no jumpstart stress-response
we stood outside and watched the children on their bicycles
safe, when you wrapped you arm around me watchfully

i feel that you are coziness embodied, i feel that you are down feathers and i am under your wing
i love you, ordinarily, sanely, calmly, softly
i know you are afraid i will disappear if you show me yourself-not-okay

if i disappear it will not be for fear of you-not-okay إن شاء الله
i do tend to disappear, ever craving invisibility, i dart away and flee
i abandon, sneak, hide, vanish, fade, go away without returning

i do not claim that i will stay, but i claim that you-not-okay shall not be a reason إن شاء الله
if you hurt me, i am likely to withdraw, if i know you did not mean to, i am likely to forgive
i forgive easily, quickly, warmly, un-grudgingly, and only remorseless violence sends me running

you are unviolent, ever-explaining, and i know you are not one to hurt maliciously
so fear me as much as you like, fear my disappearance, freely, until it bubbles over, boils down
then let it evaporate, curl by curl, let me prove that i can stay melon-cool in the red snapping charcoal

bit by bit and take your time, softly, kindly, easy
let us walk a marathon, slowly, steadily, steadfast
foot by foot, a march of feet, and i pray that we come to see our demons’ defeat.