Last thoughts

My self repulsed
at my own namesake
As real tears now wastefully fall down
This is not a test,
I realize not fake
Fist my hands taking a last look around.

The meds I took
To immobilize my shattered heart and dim smile
I Quickly reference all my life
thinking of you all the while

As I bend down reach out my hand
I know what is to come
Tears fall a last drying sleep
Upon both my feet
haziness now over come

I grab..
Hold on to both.
What's in my heart and my hand
Then sit back up
I know I must,
start to finish this plan.

Somehow thinking in my mind
how to stop, and give a reprieve
But something in...