APATHY
BY C.WYNTER

I grieved for a few days, accepting all the wrongs,
Felt myself fade away, when I think of all you've done,
I honestly felt conflicted, is it supposed to be like this?,
Feelings so restricted, I have no more energy to give,
It's been years, you'd think I'd learn by now, the truth,
No more tears, as I accept the broken pieces of you,
I wish I could say it's hate, but too much energy for all that,
Just a sense of heartbreak, when I think of all we lack,
I once felt guilty, blaming myself for your emotional bursts,
It was such misery believing your guilt trips, your words,
I don't like you mother, I no longer love you anymore,
But you don't like me either, love me? not so sure,
I get it that you were broken, I get it that you didn't know what to do,
You drank to numb the hurting, and I feel so let down by you,
But yet there were good times, I do remember them well,
You have me losing my mind, I'm tired, can't you tell?,
Nah, i don'think so ,since you like to be the main topic ,
How dare I be so low as to vent my feelings? you scream stop it!,
Because you don't want to be reminded , of any mistakes that you made,
In my poems I've confided, while you keep your secrets to your grave,
The pain is too much to keep, so I have to learn to be numb,
Hidden very deep , safe from the damage you've done,
There are no happy endings, just tolerance and deep breaths,
I am now realizing that letting go to heal is the final next step.
© C.Wynter