in my story I found a repetition, I like to party play real hard the only real competition, is myself or the place to go because everything else falls right in place, like I had made a prediction, but as good and as natural as it may seem I mess it all up with my demons and addictions, sex is the first some would say this demon may be the worst, it feels like a curse, because no matter what I put this one first,bwhether I'm sober or whether I'm high, I absolutely need sex to get through and I'm not sure why, something about random sex with pregnant girls drives me insane, it seems like I'll stop at nothing to obtain, I can't help myself it's like I'm drawn to them they're all in my site for me to fuck, but it's not a normal thing it's a demon that has me rooted or stuck, but I'll lay anything that looks decent or keeps it clean, not to sound shallow, disrespectful, or even mean, it's a problem I don't have control, so I live my days on the hunt for somewhere to bury my pole, now that you know my relationship with sex my number one demon aka the beast, let's move on to the next one in the lineup not to be underestimated let's say the least,my number two Demon in this life that I live goes by the name of addiction, all the stress and pain I put myself through, I drive my own affliction no matter the goal, no matter the plan, I will get high anyway that I can, I'll put in work or hustle a feen, last resort I'll even spend cash, no matter the price,no matter the risk, I'll do anything to fill my stash, I'll drink some beer, smoke a little weed, take a few pills, or I'll shoot me some speed, I'll do the unthinkable to get right despite what you may hear, I face this demon everyday alongside my biggest fear, a fear of needles as scary as hell, I shoot up anyway, so my daily routine feels like a prison cell, I fight my thoughts and my body's natural reaction, all is worth it in the end, the ultimate satisfaction, my addictions have all caught up to me at one time or another, it starts out feeling like he helps me get by, almost like a big brother, then it takes a turn for the worse, and it inevitably creates the biggest issues, the bigger the problem becomes the more I begin to misuse, I need this to manage my life at all, and the the longer I drag it out, the further I continue to fall, if I fail in this life it'll be due to this demon, that is my prediction, because I'm powerless under myself and over my addictions,well that's my number two demon now let's explore number three, I'm an EXTREMIST and this demon has already killed me, if I can handle 10 I know I can do 15, if I half didn't kill me, then a grams not obscene, I push it to the limits and see what happens, as long as I'm breathing and not dirt napping, sometimes I never find my limit until it's too late, always thought the last high would feel the ultimate great,but I was wrong I barely felt it at All, and it ended my life no matter how the cards fell no matter who dealt it my head began to tingle and then it went black, almost 43 minutes until I started bouncing back, the scariest moment of my entire life, as my vision came clear, all I seen was doctors and kids my wife standing there staring tears, I had been gone for so long it felt like I missed years, my life had diminished to dying and feeling so helpless and depressed, as I came home my laundry was aired my tells, my lies, and my secrets I confessed, I put down the opiates for good and felt like I had beat it, buy masking my problem with speed and needles, I believed I didn't need it, so now I run these demos and say it's okay as if I give myself admission, floating through life pushing my extreme fail mission, through every long day and restlessly through the night, running all these harsh realities, through my head living in the self-destructive life of Can't Get Right .