Gave up on giving up.
Time lost.. Heart broken to pieces.
Constantly angry..
But you're a sweet soul.. She was told.
Sorry you mean an angry soul?
You are a strong woman.. They said.
Do you mean...was a strong woman?
Because honestly she's a weak and a tired woman.
How do I cope with anger management?
How do I stop feeling constantly sad?
Signs and symptoms of ptsd, anxiety,depression.. Etc name it.
Am i running mad?
What happens if I die?
Can I die without feeling pain.
Alot more pathetic search like that.. her Google search history sucks.
And you think she a strong woman.
No she's not, not anymore.
She once easily laughed at everything but now finds everything not funny.
Constantly negative and never happy.
One would think there are days you can be happy even if you are battling with the enemy of happiness
Mental health issues. But no.
The days she is not sad scares her because she is sure something bigger and bitter is approaching. Scared of her own happiness because she is use to sadness, pain, disappointment and suffering.
Chase your dreams and never give up they said.. But some dreams like hers which is a normal dream for a girl to want a better life and work towards it.. Turns out to be a suicide mission.
Well in the end.. She has gave up giving up. Because sometimes.. Giving up can also be impossible.
She is now a moving vehicle without a break or direction.
Help? You only get help when there is one. The hope of a little family... Has become hopeless. Hash.
© hersummercold.