Each and every morning I wake up my heart pounces and pounds with fear. Like a lion chasing a deer. So has my life become because the wickedness and pain are after me. Like an illusion painting itself to be. But I say this is not an illusion but a reality. Like a reality show so does life appear to be what it is. As the saying goes,'It is what it is.' This shows if a setback is being born we should accept it the way it is.

One of the major setbacks we face in life is education. Especially when your education system is put on probation. Almost everyone around you is being promoted to the next level in education and leaving you behind. Just like moving cars by passing a car that is being broken down. Well, they all say life is not a race. So as my parents have told me education is not a race. But our African culture and belief have taken it to be a case and converted it to a race. Right now I'm in two minds of whom to believe now, and which path I should follow. Due to this I'm being forced to live a false life.

Like a winger being forced to play the role of a number nine. Lying to everyone that I'm moving forward whiles I'm stuck, and very soon my lies might lead me to the danger line. I go to church and due to the questions I'm being asked I'm forced to give a lie. I'm in the cage of despair and doubts right now, and it will take a miracle for me to be released. If care is not taken thoughts of suicide will be unleashed.

People and family members giving me words of encouragement that everything is are going to be okay and that things are going to change. I've heard those words dozens of times and it seems like everything is the same, it seems like overly reading the same page. Those who have inflicted pain in my heart are being promoted to the next level. Life is not fair because it is owned by the devil. Life is also not fair because it carries the melanin of a black man, hence the black man has black dirty thoughts. So you can never be successful as long as you live on the black man's land, because he has evil thoughts towards you.

Look at all the successful men and women in Parliament, they took a little education from the white man's land, what about you? The bible says,"Do not be conformed to the things of this world but be transformed with the renewal of your mind." All what you need, I need is a transformation and a change of mind. A mind towards good and away from evil. A mind that can resist the devil. All we need is a change of mind towards education that it isn't a race and a change that can make me a better person tomorrow.
#worry #pain

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