I seek for peace and silence amid a roaring crowd
I run to hide from voices so loud.
The silence is too loud for me when it's quiet.
I will lose my mind trying to seek peace in silence

I'm a paradox
I hibernate when voices rise
Yet I Celebrate when the crowd grows in size
The chase for peace becomes intense
The thirst for silence becomes immense

I am a paradox
I fail to seek permanent peace
As I run from permanent sanity
I am confused but still I rise as confusion increase
I thrive as I'm caught in between reality and Fantasy

I am a paradox
I cannot hear my thoughts clear
When my thoughts are too clear to hear
I'd be lost somehow trying to walk a path so vast
I could see the end even before I begin

I am a paradox
Trying to search sanity amidst a volcanic eruption
I desire peace raising from disruption
There's something about calmness not so pure
Polluted by noises from the crowd

I am a paradox
Seeking for peace as a cure
But still chasing the buzz not allowed
There's something assuring with uncertainty
I will chase this peace just to gain certainty

I am a paradox
Stillness is pure but pure only when amid a tornado
That feeling of a clock ticking
It's addictive maybe seductive
The high I chase is productive some say it's destructive

There's something about peace acquired from impurity that is pure.
I am a paradox

© Thembi Ntahane KaMahlangu