Dead Roses and Feelings Gone

I'ma dead man they say. If y'all was to ask me what I think about that I'd be like I'm ok. I know what I'm doing or at least I think I know the way. Right or wrong This is the muthafucken real I can't afford to play. I analyze each spoken word with caution because no one's word is what they say. I stay noid never formal it's been ages since I was normal.

I tie my shoes so I don't stumble, trip, shit I know I'm gonna fall. Again done in by my so called best friend. I wonder when or

how long this negative thinking towards me been going on. because all I hear is people saying that I'm the one. I can't describe the way I'm feelin I must be going through life in a trance if I would have known that you'd be the one to take me away I would have asked you to dance.

From what I hear I live life by chance. Shit maybe I do take chance here and there it's just who I am. but that doesn't mean that I don't care. I must have done something really fucken bad. Trip on this though I don't do nothing to no one that doesn't have it coming. You don't always get what you want I must have had opportunity given by chance retribution being the motive. I don't like the direction this is goin it's next level I converse with the devil tell me what is what cause I only got a few fucks left to give. And I ain't with wasting them. I don't want to hate but I hate haters and I'm faced with them on the daily shit they even pursueded my lady to go against me. i can't believe that I lost her in more ways than one I want to hold on but it's her behind the gun. it's crazy on how I know when the pain is coming. it's like I can feel it in my soul. is it because she knows that I know? yeah I know. I'm a walking dead man now you know.
© Juan Blue demon Alvarez