That was me,

the time for denial is over.

She is a part of me,
no matter how I choose to color her.

so might as well keep her bare-skinned,
and wilting under the daylight.

The only consolation I could give myself
is I'm not making excuses for my own cruelty.
~
No blame is shifted where it could fit,
but nevertheless, does not belong.

No name is given without the teeth ---
A cheat, a liar, a coward, an egotist.

Call me what I was.

The only thing I could ever do
is make sure that that version of me
is dead and gone, and buried
before I come into someone's life again.

I would not let it ruin any part of my future,
or anybody else's for that matter.

I would not go on life with an unfinished business.

I am now an assassin.

My job is not done while she's still breathing.
Kill her, and let the future versions of me know her only by name --

let me-back-then
be nothing more than a tall tale to pass around,
a scary story to scare the kids,
a bump in the night to steal sleep.

That, unfortunately, she will inevitably be.
Let it, but leave her buried six feet below,
bones,
and rot

and nothing more.
© ciarawrites