Sometimes I think,
I have nobody to share my intrusive dark thoughts with.

I stay in the silence just to stop those noises in my head.

I have nightmares that says I'm a pure soul.
But according to people I'm a beast with ugly heart and scary soul.

I never wish anyone to be a part of my dark thoughts.

They won't survive in dark thoughts.

Sometimes you need to rely on yourself because you can handle it.
At least for a while you can control it.

You know,

Long time ago I thought I'm burying my all the dark intrusive thoughts.
But I realised lately that my dark side slowly burying me that deep. Where I can't keep up my head, my feelings and my living energy alive.

I thought I was destroying my beast inside.

But it took over me already.
I just smile something bad happens.
and fill my heart with lots of guilt and shame.
Sometimes I'm happy anyways.
for a while, maybe my devil allows me a little break, so he can play with my heart again and again.

You can't control your life,
not even love survive in it.
It's just envy.


© im_1d03