Never liked not having control of my body
Then how contradictory
Of me to swallow an unknown pill
Got myself fooled by pretty colors
And smiley faces

That cover a poisonous skull underneath
To my credit, it was a knowing act
As opposed to my contemporaries
Having their choice erased
By insidious drops on their drinks

The stomach is the first victim
It's always the stomach
There to remind me why I don't
Partake to begin with

Heaviness
Flowing upwards
Threatening to reach the throat
Expelling its indignation towards me
Full force

Uncontained fury
I plead for its forgiveness
Promising ecstasy unlike it has ever experienced
I asked for it to have some patience

My arguments proved persuasive
It calmed itself down
Curious to see what would happen next
But reminding there would be hell to pay
Should the promise not come to pass

Beats mixed with blinding lights
Faces frozen in masks of delight
Bodies gyrating in close proximities
Dropping the ambient temperature
To perspiration inducing levels

I am consumed by unrelenting laughter
Hands raised
In worship of the electronic gods
Their missionaries gestured their approval at me
As they turn the tables of the gospel

My neurons tell me I no longer run the show
They want to jump and dance to the stratosphere
And so will I
I feel the telltale cold and lightheadedness
Of intoxication

The room flashes in a light pink haze
No more darkness
Orbs of warmth, tenderness and happiness
Surround me as security blankets
Or a mother's loving embrace

My feet disappear
Fusing with the floor below
How silly
I can still jump and dance
My feet cannot be buried down below

Mythical creatures emerge from the walls
Hushing me with fingers and homologous
Structures
To keep their presence between us
Our very own special secret

I smiled baring all teeth
Twirling with my hands held high
As I marvel at the ethereal sight
Shadows twirl around me
As designated dance partners

Reassuring me that every action taken
Tonight is right
No consequences
No rules
Just love

They congratulate me on my wisdom
So mature for my age they cooed
The fairy and the dragon
Ask me if I want to earn my wings
To which I thoughtlessly agree

Ready to sign
Ready for the right of passage
Who wouldn't want a pair of angel wings?
Or the sparkling beauty of fairies
Every person's dream aesthetics

Not a second passed
After my enthusiastic consent
The sirens, fairies and mythical creatures
Had their lovely faces melted away
Into all the kings and princes of hell

The dragon turned into Cerberus
Its black body studded with endless rows
Of blinking red eyeballs
All beings converged

Into my most terrifying nightmare

I scratched blindly at the walls
Pink haze now a memory
My nails detach from their beds
Some of them remaining stuck on the wall
Leaving bloody holes behind

Exposing nerves, vessels and bones
My fingers break,bend and snap
At my futile efforts
Wearing down to the knuckles
The demonic forces laugh at my struggles

I feel their talons and claws gripping at my
Flesh and clothing
Informing me I am now living with them
Rent all paid for
I vehemently protest

Crying to the angels above
To pull me out of the mess
I brought myself into
A neon floating arrow
Points to my right

Tears of real joy bring moisture
To my parched skin
Not the fabricated joy artificially conceived
This was the very feeling incarnated
A light switch

I dislocated my shoulder
In efforts to reach it
My bloody stumps weren't enough
To place a firm grip on it
I closed my fist

And slammed it upwards to flick the switch

The room got bright again
Not pink but white this time
I hyperventilate
Guarded and paranoid
Bracing myself for the monster's return

But nothing happens
I noticed my skin is frigid cold and clammy
Masks, wires and tubes frame my wardrobe change
Humanoid entities with masks over their faces
Look down at me

Smiles reassuring me I am safe
I will be alright
I got lucky this time
Cerberus got his stomach full
With my accompaniments.






© Elsbeth Mareile G.C.