The person looking back at me,

from my mirrors brutal gaze,

Bears no clear resemblance

of my body or my face...

I can't believe I look so old,

my hairs gray, and I'm fat...

How come he's still here I ponder;

he never signed up for that...

I look away disgusted,

with who I've grown to be,

Now I have to be ashamed;

that ugly persons' me...

I'm sorry when he looks my way,

that this is what he sees...

No wonder he keeps his options open,

in case he ever leaves...

I couldnt even blame him,

if he was unfaithful,

a real friend would let him go;

expecting him to stay seems hateful...

with a second glance,

into my evil looking glass...

I see the pain I have endured,

and how lifes kicked my ass

I reflect on how hard I've fought to be

someone that makes me proud

I spent so much time hating myself

I wore hate like a shroud...

With a deep inhale, and one last look,

in my mirrors direction.

I bravely lift my head to see,

at last my horrible reflection...

I looked into my eyes this time

and Thats where I saw the spark

The light inside them is beckoning

it illuminates the dark

Turns out Inside I am not ugly.

theres beauty to be seen...

Hopefully he sees past my flesh

and loves whats in between.

Heidi Shavill

2016