I'm crying
I'm lying
To myself
I thought I had a grip on mental health
That little girl inside me still feels hell
What do you expect when she was told never to tell?
Or that the verbal abuse wasn't real
Im sick of the way my family made me feel
I got layers I'm trying to un peal
He's teaching me love without the sexual appeal
Sorry I'm still trapped in my seal
Shedding skins
But I'm still
Sitting here hurting, cause here's the deal
I made with myself isn't happening until
I look at this abuse
I feeling like I'm not any use
Shes so fucking rude
Every moment her mouth opens its crude
How did any dude
Love her in any moment
When all she's does is break you down till youre broken.
Nothing will ever be enough
My mom couldn't handle how rough
An environment of constant unlove
Idk how to have any fun
When I'm alone I just want to be done
With my existence
Yet I'm persistent
To find another way
To stop hurting when I say
Idk how you could love me today
Or tomorrow
I'm like the clothes you borrow
Pain and sorrow

I don't want to open up
Show you how I've had an empty cup
That I can only fill
But I'm sick of what I feel

Everything I do is wrong
She doesn't see me as strong
But why should I care cause it's been too long...

© joelletabacsko