It's hard to smile
When my heart is shreds and pieces
I can't hold together in my hand.
Like threads, they slip through my fingers
And fall to the ground.
I go down on my knees
Trying to pick up the falling pieces
With one hand
While clinging to the remaining pieces
With the other.
The heart beats hard
To pump this pain through my body
But my mind...
Well my prefrontal is in chaos
Trying to process all these emotions
Flooding in.
I try,
I try to remind myself to smile
Because this smile,
This mask is a shade I rest under,
A wall I hide behind
Because I can't tell the world
That my soul is empty.

© Thembi Ntahane KaMahlangu