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DECISIONS
Do your friends influence your decisions? How do you react to their opinions,those that match your thinking and those that don't? Ever followed your friends advice that you regret to date? Does it hurt?
Every one has this people surrounding them in our hood, we call them "committee" .like the girl I am, I was at cross roads,I trusted not my actions, my feelings and my thoughts. I reached out to my "committee" and as always, they feed you according to their approach of matters, to how they handled their situation.
They way some listed signs of love Bombing, all matched to what the guy offered me and again it clicked that I had lost again. I recall one of them told me ," Girl run for your life." This literally killed the last hope I was left clinging onto.
Have you ever stayed up all night hurting for no reason? You angry at the world and blaming all on it?
Yes, that's what I sat on my bed doing, cursing and regretting the connection and wishing things could just be different.
Isolation.....when I'm going through something,this another mechanism that grows in me, I find people, surrounding Soo irritating,this moment it's always meant for me and my thoughts. It's during this moment I appreciate lone time.
I visited all the sites he had introduced to me on the first day we met, everything that connected to him, this was too much on me that it has ever been before.i have been hurt before,I have lost connections that really meant the world to me but this one I wasn't just ready yet to loose or maybe I wasn't just losing but Its just the fear in me creating all that In my mind.
Do you ever think of yourself? ,What you deserve?,what makes you happy? To what extent you would go to achieve what you always dreamt of?
I thought of me, my peace, and for the first time in my life I wasn't negative and said to myself, " girl you deserve the best, you happy there hold on to it for as long as it lasts, somethings we can't change and some we can." At that moment I said a prayer: dear lord,grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change those that I can and wisdom to know the difference. Thanks to it for it restored my joy not just for the moment but for as long as I lived.
Ever judged someone by his looks,talks, friends, actions without knowing whom they really are? Ever been a victim? How does it feel before and after the judgement?
To be continued
*Olive Shiku
I have been a victim of judgement,I also judge people and end up having bad impression about them but what I don't do is regret. After all it's not bad to be cautious with oneself.
Meeting someone high above you,more exposed than you are and here they are ,down for you , wanting you to be next to them, isn't it scaring in mind that today's society everything has a price?
I would look deep in his eyes and in my heart whispering," you ain't winning whatever you up to."
I judged him for who he isn't I filled my heart with hatred for days that never sprout cause I still saw the gentleman side of him. He was the best, every girls prince charming.
Sorry.....this the only word that ends fight, cools down heated arguments and this time add to it never judge a book by its cover.
I hated myself for the rush, but no, I never rushed, I still had him next to me, so close to my heart, I would think how evil his intentions were and still crave more of him, more of his time, not for his money or fame, not for the person he introduced to me but for the beasts in him.
Like I said, the things we do for love, this time risking was all I signed up for without fear but hoping for the best.
I never wonna be a victim of regret, hoping that maybe I gave him a chance or I never gave him a chance but I wanted the best for me, all he created in my mind.
© Olive shiku
Every one has this people surrounding them in our hood, we call them "committee" .like the girl I am, I was at cross roads,I trusted not my actions, my feelings and my thoughts. I reached out to my "committee" and as always, they feed you according to their approach of matters, to how they handled their situation.
They way some listed signs of love Bombing, all matched to what the guy offered me and again it clicked that I had lost again. I recall one of them told me ," Girl run for your life." This literally killed the last hope I was left clinging onto.
Have you ever stayed up all night hurting for no reason? You angry at the world and blaming all on it?
Yes, that's what I sat on my bed doing, cursing and regretting the connection and wishing things could just be different.
Isolation.....when I'm going through something,this another mechanism that grows in me, I find people, surrounding Soo irritating,this moment it's always meant for me and my thoughts. It's during this moment I appreciate lone time.
I visited all the sites he had introduced to me on the first day we met, everything that connected to him, this was too much on me that it has ever been before.i have been hurt before,I have lost connections that really meant the world to me but this one I wasn't just ready yet to loose or maybe I wasn't just losing but Its just the fear in me creating all that In my mind.
Do you ever think of yourself? ,What you deserve?,what makes you happy? To what extent you would go to achieve what you always dreamt of?
I thought of me, my peace, and for the first time in my life I wasn't negative and said to myself, " girl you deserve the best, you happy there hold on to it for as long as it lasts, somethings we can't change and some we can." At that moment I said a prayer: dear lord,grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change those that I can and wisdom to know the difference. Thanks to it for it restored my joy not just for the moment but for as long as I lived.
Ever judged someone by his looks,talks, friends, actions without knowing whom they really are? Ever been a victim? How does it feel before and after the judgement?
To be continued
*Olive Shiku
I have been a victim of judgement,I also judge people and end up having bad impression about them but what I don't do is regret. After all it's not bad to be cautious with oneself.
Meeting someone high above you,more exposed than you are and here they are ,down for you , wanting you to be next to them, isn't it scaring in mind that today's society everything has a price?
I would look deep in his eyes and in my heart whispering," you ain't winning whatever you up to."
I judged him for who he isn't I filled my heart with hatred for days that never sprout cause I still saw the gentleman side of him. He was the best, every girls prince charming.
Sorry.....this the only word that ends fight, cools down heated arguments and this time add to it never judge a book by its cover.
I hated myself for the rush, but no, I never rushed, I still had him next to me, so close to my heart, I would think how evil his intentions were and still crave more of him, more of his time, not for his money or fame, not for the person he introduced to me but for the beasts in him.
Like I said, the things we do for love, this time risking was all I signed up for without fear but hoping for the best.
I never wonna be a victim of regret, hoping that maybe I gave him a chance or I never gave him a chance but I wanted the best for me, all he created in my mind.
© Olive shiku
