fingers fumbling in the church, crying,
and you imagine how you are faring outside in the court of opinion now,
always an embarrassment always have been,
will you falter now when you are on your knees begging,
when you are salty and sad for something like home ?
do you watch the girls in the front pew
and imagine what they think of souless, identical, holy visages-
you remove yourself from situations gently, kindly,
spare them justice, reality,
so crying in the church, snot smeared across your face,
mary holds jesus like a prized accessory,
holds him up and her face glows ghostly LED-
can they see your tears in the darkness of stained windows and minimal artificial lighting ?
you fucking hope not.