Suicidal thought reactions are the only shit that a serial killer fears more than an atomic bomb
My thoughts are conflicted
My emotions are restricted
My whole body is ticking
Enraged and Accustomingly numb to the feeling
Call the bomb squad any minute now am about to go off can't contained it anymore
This fuel is what they used to build nascar's and high turbo sports engines
I can't really seems to shake it
Am totally inebriated with the emotion constantly bugged by the depression ,the anxiety ,the fear and the ooverriding thoughts of being alone
Nobody gets me for being me
The norms of following society and what people thinks of you
I don't know anymore but this is how I forget the norms of society by rolling a blunt and drinking shots after shots until my eyes rolling over in my head
Starting fights throwing fist after fist getting punched in the face spitting blood I don't give a damn this is the way I unwind cause nobody cares about how i feel
This is my public display of demolition
Wasted tilled I puke my guts out
I am tired of wearing my heart on my sleeves
When I am done puking my guts
I locking myself up in the bathroom
throwing a tantrum screaming,shouting ,punching and kicking stuffs and yelling at the top of my lungs
Holding in pent up anger the suppression of your rage keeping it bottled up that turns u into the monster u feared to become
But here you are standing infront of a mirror with a razor blade to your wrist
one slit no two watching the blood drips down your forearm and dropping splat on the floor with tears streaking down your face
Can't bear to look at the wreck staring back at you in the mirror you decided to punch it cracking it into a million pieces
Nobody gets u and that's a fact with all the therapies and the shrinks you thought they could read you like a book from here on out but no your still invisible still stuck beneath the radar but you find yourself comfortably at piece with your existence